Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
