I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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