Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
