Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
