Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
