im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize