you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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