part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
