Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
