great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
