the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
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And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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