Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
