Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
