And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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