Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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