I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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