shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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