he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
