party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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