Kiss
Puke
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am available for nakedness
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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