I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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