I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
