It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
