Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize