and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
