You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
its not stalking. its research.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
