Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
