i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
