i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
