wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
