it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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