He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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