You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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