I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
