i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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