They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
