its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
