Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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