I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
