Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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