she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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