My liver just broke up with me...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
