So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
