the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
