Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
