did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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