You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
