Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the day after is always just damage control
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
