8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
