I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
