If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
