Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
