don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
